E3 2017: DYEGB’s Ultimate Wish Lists of Destiny

E3 comes but once a year, and with it comes a slew of reveals, more cringe than you can shake a tween’s Minecraft Twitch channel at, as well as ammunition for the console wars for the rest of the year. Amongst the glitz and glimmer and EA execs trying to convince us that they’re not lizard people, some truly crazy announcements get made. For instance I think we all remember where we were when the Final Fantasy VII remake got announced (I was falling asleep on the couch because it was really early in Australia). So to blow off steam in the week leading up to E3, we thought we’d share some of the titles that, although in some cases are unlikely to appear, would blow our tiny minds if they were to show up on the big stage.

Another year, another E3 – which means another year of hilarious comment feeds and shit-hot hype-inducing trailers. While the drip feed of E3-appearing titles continues to occur, there is still a myriad of games that I am hoping to see at this year’s expo.

Despite being announced at the end of May, Hunt: Showdown (Crytek’s re-envisioned Hunt: Horrors of the Gilded Age) is on the top of my wishlist. Although we know it has gone from being a third-person shooter to a first-person shooter and from four-player co-op to deuce player, there’s very little we know about it. I am hoping we become privy to a release date as well as in-depth gameplay video.

I’m hoping that Capcom pull a rabbit out of their hat and announce a remake of either Onimusha: Warlords or Dino Crisis. I also hope that the rumours that Bethesda are set to announce a sequel to 2014’s The Evil Within are bang on. Horror games are my jam, and although The Evil Within’s story kinda got farcical towards the end, the overall atmosphere was excellent. Speaking of horror games, I’m crossing my fingers that we get to see some gameplay for the Call of Cthulhu. Lastly, despite Maximum Games’ (Troll and I) questionable track record, I am hoping we get some new info on their Road Rash-inspired game, Road Rage.

I have a large wishlist this year but I’ll keep short I don’t want you to fall asleep and miss the show. Getting more solid details on the remake of Final Fantasy 7 is at the top as I’m a massive fan of the series. I’m also wishing for general indications that Star Wars Battlefront 2 will actually be good, as the first one gave me salmonella poisoning it was so undercooked. EA seemed to have at least heard its consumers’ complaints, but it remains to be seen if they’ll address them, especially the main desire for players to be able to engage in a robust single-player experience.

I love, love, LOVE FromSoftware and their work, and Bloodborne is still one of my most adored games ever. I am very hopeful that the team led by Hidetaka Miyazaki will show something new and exciting to add to their stellar portfolio of incredible games. Seeing as Dark Souls 3 has only just had DLC released I’m not sure if we’l see another FromSoft title announced just yet, but a man can wish. Secondly, I wish to see a fresh new IP from Microsoft, preferably an RPG. I know it’s asking for a lot, but I need a reason to scrape the dust off of my Xbox and actually give it a spin. PlayStation has been killing it recently with RPGs (Nioh, Horizon Zero Dawn, NieR: Automata, Persona 5) and it would be awesome to see Xbox try to contest them. Lastly, I am really wishing that the rumoured Pokémon Stars (an adaptation of Pokémon Sun and Moon) is revealed for the Switch. Zelda is cool, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is cool, Splatoon 2 will be awesome, I just need Pokémon to top it all off.

As far as a wish list goes, I am now living in a world where Darksiders III is not only confirmed, but in active development. Once upon a time I would have just dreamt of an announcement, but now I just wish for some unique development footage. So far I have seen the same footage roughly four times in different formats, courtesy of IGN’s team. Show me new stuff! I need it! As a Nintendo Switch owner also, I’d love to see a few more big title announced or detailed, but I will settle for some details on the still odd-looking Mario Odyssey.

A final wish list would be for some proper details regarding Oddworld Inhabitants’ latest venture, Oddworld: Soulstorm. I will bitterly admit that I am super burnt out on ARG and guerrilla marketing moves, and recently this ‘game’ has been offering nothing but cryptic details and treasures hunts that I have no patience for. I love the Oddworld series, and its rebirth in the modern day has me super excited, but show me the f%$king game already!

E3 is my favourite part of the year. Yes, I get more excited for the globally known video games exhibition more than I do Christmas and my birthday. There are more surprises, more excitement and more mystery surrounding it leading up to the event.

Firstly, I’m wishing that Pokemon Stars is real (Nintendo Direct – Switch). All I have ever wanted was a proper traditional Pokemon game on consoles. However, my dream was always shot down due to the fact that Game Freak claimed that traditional Pokemon games should be an on-the-go experience. What excuse can they pull now that Nintendo has released the Switch? Moreover, multiple leaks including one by Eurogamer suggests that Pokemon Sun/Moon may be getting a Yellow port to Switch titled Pokemon Stars. The art style in Sun/Moon was almost perfect, but was held back by poor resolution. The Switch should effectively remove that limitation. Please Nintendo, grant my 20-year-old wish and give me a proper Pokemon game on the Switch.

A new Bioshock would also be a show stopper. It’s been a few years since we’ve had a Bioshock, and that’s too long. However Irrational Games as we know it have been rebranded as Ghost Story Games (still headed by the brilliant Ken Levine) who seem intent on experimenting with entirely new but smaller experiences, so this one’s unlikely. But what’s a wish list without wild improbability?

While we’re talking about wild improbability, a new Dead Space game wouldn’t go astray. This is probably even more unlikely than Bioshock but probably given the developer (Visceral) is working on a Star Wars Game.

I’m also wishing for some news on enhanced Move controllers for PlayStation VR. Games on PlayStation VR are stuck between two worlds: games that provide hand tracking via Move controls, or games that operate via a regular Dualshock setup where motion tracking is slightly more limited, but players are able to traverse VR worlds using the analogue sticks. Sony, you need to create a hybrid of these two controllers unless you want to be left in the dust by the HTC Vive and the Occulus Rift who provide such a control scheme.

E3 is back, and so is apathy! It’s the same bloody thing every year these days, and I’m not holding my breath for it to be anything special. However, there’s still a couple of things that I’d consider event-salvaging:

Starcraft is getting a fresh coat of paint, so why can’t another beloved RTS have the same? I grew up on Command and Conquer, and remasters of any games in the franchise would be like second Christmas. Speaking of EA, they should either prove that the next Battlefront won’t be crap, or extend their FIFA coverage to three hours. If you’re only here to jack off your shareholders, at least be honest about it. On the Bethesda front, Wolfenstein. It’s about time. I want it to be mine. I’ll pay a pretty dime. Nickelodeon slime. Bust a rhyme. Nintendo better give us either a gen 4 Pokemon remake or the rumoured Stars version this year too. Diamond and Pearl hold a very special place in my heart, so a remake of those games would bring a tear to my eye out of sheer joy.

E3. It’s that magical time of year where fanboys make sure their mums have washed their flame-retardant capes and keyboard warriors make sure their Caps lock key is in good working order and ready to go at any given moment. I don’t think I fit into either of those camps, but I love watching the fireworks nonetheless. When it comes to E3 I’m a simple creature; give me games, give me gameplay, and keep the FIFA/Madden section short please.

In terms of a wish list I’m going to wish for the same thing I do every year: a Tenchu reboot. Not a remake, not a remaster, a reboot. I have no idea why this franchise has been on ice for so long, but I shall stare intently at my computer screen during E3 in the vain hope that Rikimaru comes ninja-flipping out of it at some point.

Also, Burnout. Criterion games are hard at work on Star Wars Battlefront 2, but maybe one of them is secretly making a Burnout game during their lunch break (if EA even allow those). Hopefully they are also staring lovingly at Burnout Revenge while doing so and watching Burnout Paradise burning in a dumpster in their peripheral vision.

Lastly, it’s weird for me to wish for a remaster/remake, but I wouldn’t mind seeing Knights of the Old Republic given a face lift for a new generation. After Mass Effect Andromeda, BioWare could do with a win, but given the age of the game (about thirteen years), I’d be leaning heavily on the remake side of things. Unless of course they are going for an Andromeda level of quality to the animations and textures, which in that case just taking the old game and porting it directly should do it.

Got any secret desires for this year’s E3? Let us know.

Do You Even Game Bro is a small collective of avid Aussie gamers who after many years of devouring gaming-related news and content from across the Interwebz, have decided to venture out on their own and present their spin on the gaming world.